Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
