Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
