How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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