Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
