girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
