She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
