i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize