no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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