my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
