Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
NoShamevember. You game?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
