make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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