Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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