I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
