you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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