I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
