If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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