Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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