weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
