When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
