A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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