So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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