Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
