Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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