Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the day after is always just damage control
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
