i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize