so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
