Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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