so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
