How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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