So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
