I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
