And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
