We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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