dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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