In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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