Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
