the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
