craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize