so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
