Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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