The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
