Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize