I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
