i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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