You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
