it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
