White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Im part way to drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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