Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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