Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
