i jhust puked up my retainher.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
