Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
