This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
