Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
