trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Randomize