Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
