im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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