mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
