you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
