It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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