Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
