Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
